Many, many, years
ago, my dear sainted mother revealed to my dearly beloved wife-child a
tried and true method of cooking the always-perfect turkey, and now
I'm going to share it with you. I have only known it to fail once in the
past nearly 40 years, an instance where the turkey just would not get
done. Which, wouldn’t you know it, was a time where the mother was
visiting. I think maybe both the chef and guest were too basted to pay any
attention to the bird – and to an oven mistakenly set too low – but of
course, that is just a guess on my part.
This method of
roasting turkey is simple and virtually foolproof. Add some mashed
potatoes, gravy (see "Stick-to-the-ribs Kansas City Style Gravy!") and
dressing to the table and you are off to a tummy-stuffer of a meal that
everyone will rave about. Of course, you could also serve such unnecessary
things as vegetables to add color and absolve yourself of feelings of
guilt, but why bother. Save the veggies for where there isn’t any
real food to eat!
Now, understand me.
I’m not a chef and I’m not real good at following complex culinary
instructions. I would much rather eat than cook, but normally one must
occur before the other. Even I, now that my wife is working and I am near
to becoming a full-time househusband, have whipped up many a holidays meal
of roasted turkey. My reviews are all raves; for the bird, gravy, dressing
and potatoes. If I can do it, most anybody can! Of course, with my gravy
to pour over everything, I guess the rest of it could just as well be
Wonder Bread – but enough of this back-patting – let us get on with it –
let us talk (about that) turkey.
The roasting
instructions are presented first because it is the only thing different
from common practice. I’ve included the whole bagatelle for those that
haven’t done it a hundred times already. I split this into two parts so it
would load faster. You can use the 'Index' to move between the parts to
view the mundane things having to do with selecting the turkey, defrosting
it, stuffing it, etc., and then return here, again using the 'Index', for
the cooking instructions if you so desire.
The big question,
if you have guests coming over, is how long will it take? The rule of
thumb is about 15 minutes per pound if stuffed. Without being stuffed,
decrease the time about a half-hour for a small bird and an hour for a
large bird. Start the bird so you will have about a half hour, give or
take, after it should be done before you are due to partake of the feast.
If it gets done on the early side, just take it out of the oven, remove it
and the rack from the roasting pan, and wrap the whole thing loosely in
tin foil. This will keep the skin from drying out and slow the cooling
process. You will only need to do this if there is more than 40 minutes
before you plan to eat. Otherwise, it should be out of the oven and
cooling for about 20 minutes before you carve it.
You should remove
all the stuffing from the cavities before you serve the turkey. This not
only makes serving all those ingrates easier, but it can be very
beneficial to your health. Harmful bacteria are more likely to grow in the
stuffing if it sits for a long time in the bird. If you do not need all
the stuffing for first servings, you can put the remaining stuffing in the
oven at 200F to keep hot until you need it.
One heavy duty roasting rack (not the fold-up type)
One adequate roasting pan (I prefer porcelain or stainless)
One pound of squeeze bottle margarine (or butter)
One pair of insulatedmoisture resistant gloves
Note: The gloves
are important. You will need to turn over a turkey that is 200 or more
degrees on the outside. Using forks and such is just not practical on
a bird that weighs over 5 pounds. Go to the hardware store and get a
pair of insulated rubber electricians or stone masons gloves. There
doesn't have to be much insulation, but there should be some and the
gloves must be moisture resistant (outsides must be rubber
coated).
First, preheat
your oven to 325 degrees. If you forget, don’t sweat it. It doesn’t really
matter all that much, but why buck the experts. Just make sure the oven is
on and is set for 325 rather than 225 or some other temperature. If
you don’t have any confidence in your oven temperature I suggest you
obtain an inexpensive oven thermometer so you can check it. The cooking
temperature is important.
Place your
prepared turkey, which can be with or without dressing, breast down
on the roasting rack and place it all into the roasting pan. Keep the
wingtips close to the turkey by using the rack to hold them in place or
tie them down loosely with string. The pan must be at least as large as
the bird so that juices don’t run off onto the oven. Spread a liberal
coating of the butter on the bird and pop it into the oven. Don’t cover it
with a tent or put a lid on the pan or any thing like that. You are going
to turn the turkey over later, and in the turning is a whole lot of what
makes an "always perfect" turkey.
Look in on the
bird from time to time. About every hour is adequate to make sure
everything is where you left it and for you to put more butter on the
bird. Just dribble the butter over the high parts and let it slide down
the sides. This keeps the skin from drying out and helps it to brown
nicely. Continue doing this until the bird is good and brown – the color
you would like it to be when you serve it – something near to the brown in
the turkey picture.
Don’t try to rush
things by turning up the oven. That will brown the outside but will not
cook the inside. It will tend to dry out the surface portions while
leaving the inside raw. If your guests and or family are getting restless,
send them outside or ply them with more vino; but don’t turn up the oven!
When the part of
the turkey that is up (the back) is well browned remove the turkey from
the oven and, using the gloves, turn the turkey over. Return
the bird to the oven and resume cooking it breast side up. Continue to
look in on it and moisten it with butter every half-hour or so. Do this
until the breast side is also nice and brown. When it is, when both sides
have been adequately browned, it is more than likely fully cooked and
ready to come out.
Cooking the turkey
breast down for about 70% of the time insures that the breast portions
will be moist. Turning it over and finishing it breast up insures that all
of the bird gets cooked and that it is browned evenly so as to be pretty
for the table. Additionally, spreading a pound of butter over it while it
cooked not only helped the skin stay moist and helped to brown it, it also
insures that there will be plenty of scrumptious drippings with which to
make my world famous gravy!
If you cooked the
turkey at 325 until both sides are thoroughly browned it will most
assuredly be done, but my idea and your idea of ‘thoroughly brown’ may
differ so I’ve included the following to give more confidence over the
matter. Nobody wants a partially cooked turkey except for the
little bugs that are giggling their heads off.
If your turkey has
one of those little pop-up thingys in it, you can usually rely on
it to not be faulty. Normally, it will pop up sometime before the outside
is adequately browned and pretty, but you can take it out at that time if
you wish, or you can leave it in until it is completely browned. Having
cooked it breast down, and having moistened it with the butter, has given
it adequate protection against getting too dry.
The books say the
most reliable method for determining when your turkey is thoroughly cooked
is through use of a meat thermometer. I don’t happen to own one, but that
is what I have been told and they are probably right. The turkey is
supposed to be done when the temperature reaches 185F in the inner thigh.
Another method for
testing doneness is to press the fleshy part of the thigh with your
fingers (remember it will be a bit hot). If the meat feels soft, or if the
leg moves up and down easily and the hip joint gives readily or breaks,
the turkey is done.
Doneness can also
be detected by inserting a long-tined fork into the thickest area of the
inner thigh. If the juices run clear, not pink, the turkey is probably
done.
Regardless of the
above method used, when the turkey is deeply browned on both sides, it is
probably ready to be removed from the oven. I use the ‘shake a leg’ method
to check it and have not found a truly brown turkey to not be done. I like
my poultry to be pretty well done and, at least in my oven, when it is
adequately brown it is adequately done.
-
Scottish Highland Cattle - Iredell, Texas 
Many, many, years
ago, my dear sainted mother revealed to my dearly beloved wife-child a
tried and true method of cooking the always-perfect turkey, and now
I'm going to share it with you. I have only known it to fail once in the
past nearly 40 years, an instance where the turkey just would not get
done. Which, wouldn’t you know it, was a time where the mother was
visiting. I think maybe both the chef and guest were too basted to pay any
attention to the bird – and to an oven mistakenly set too low – but of
course, that is just a guess on my part.
